The dark cloud is lifting

The past week has been very hard for me. People ask how I am feeling and I have responded as follows. Physically I am fine. Back to runnning and I have even started doing some weights with my sore arm. My mobility is about 85% on that arm as well. However emotionally I am a mess. I feel like I was giving my death sentance last week - not much hope. I guess when you add that my tumor is "hugely aggressive" with "60% chance of reoccurance in 3 years" I automatically put myself in the 60% category. I must admit that I am scared. And mad. I am thinking about things like not buying things for myself that will be for the long term. And better get Jessica's scrapbooks up to date.

But things are starting to look better. Sandy and I made a list of questions that we want answered when we see the doctor today. I have received lots of positive support from friends and family and reminding me that I can also be in the 40% category. I am reading the book by Lance Armstrong called "It's not about the bike". I am about 2/3 the way through it. It is truely inspirational. I slept good last night for the first time in a week. While I was doing my stretches this morning the clouds broke open and the sun started to shine directly on me. I felt positive and strong.

Now having that all said we are going to be asking some pretty direct questions this afternoon about survival rates. Hopefully I am ready to hear the answers. What is worse not knowing or knowing? That I don't have an answer to.

So I have about 4 hours to bask in the glory of positiveness. We will see how I am feeling at hour 5.

Keep you posted.

Love Carolin