Hitting bottom

Well tonight I hit bottom emotionally, cried and told Sandy how tired I am of being sick. This was after a day of throwing up everytime I ate. Maybe it is the flu and maybe it is a sign of swelling in the brain. Neither of them do I want right now.
If they put me back on steroids for brain inflamation it would be for 5 days and then it takes 2 months to get me weaned off of them. That means 2 months of being fat again.
Yuck!

But after I brushed my teeth and wiped my tears it is back to being a fighter again and not giving into this hole I seem to be in right now. I know that I can drive and go to the gym again soon. And I know that there will be an end to treatments too - hopefully because I am healthy and not for the other reason.

I am not on any meds for head pain after Thursday's treatment.
I am very, very tired. I sleep almost 12 hours at night and then sleep another 3 hours during the day. The ladies from my support group did an amazing job filling my fridge and freezer with meals for the weekend and probably this whole week. Thank you so much!!

So I am off to bed soon. Jessica seems to tuck me in more often lately than I do her. She is such a resilant kid!!! She gives me lots of hugs and always tries to do things to help me. Sandy well what can I say... I married the best guy around. He comes home from work and then takes care of Jessica, cooks, handles the homework and walks Rylie. Not an easy job but he never complains.

Well time for me to sign off...

Love Carolin

PS Thanks again to everyone for the Emails, phone calls, prayers, love and support. Everyone always comments on my strength through this disease but I couldn't be strong without each and everyone of you behind me every step of the way. Like the 60 km walk it is just one step at a time!! Good night.