Off to San Fran

Jess and I are off to see my sister in the land of fog and grapes. We'll be back Sunday to resume our respective radiation programs: Jess gets hers directly from the sun all summer, mine is a little less spontaneous.

I've put some pictures into past blog entries. Those who are curious can find them in March, April and June.

Very productive day

Today was a good day. I took Sandy's sister Pam to my Body Pump class at the gym. It was a good class and it felt good to be back and making my body stronger. I am determined to be stronger than this cancer.

My mom Gail has come down from Edmonton to visit me as well. We went together for radiation so that she could see what all happens at my appointment. There is no feeling when I am having the radiation done just a buzzing noise and a bright light.

Later in the afternoon I went to see my Breast Care Specialist doctor. Her role is to fill in all the places that need coordinating between my medical oncolgist and radiation oncologist. This is what she learned. Because my brain cancer is a secondary cancer rather than a primary cancer it will probably respond to radiation better. I still have to finish 7 more treatments and then have an MRI so see the results.

She also talked to my medical oncologist. They will be sending me for a "Staging Investigation". That means blood work, bone scan, and a CAT scan of my clavical area, abdomen and chest to see if there is any other cancer around. If they find more cancer I will do more chemo. If not, then no.

I will also be starting Herceptin. As my cancer is HER2 positive, it means that some natural factors in my blood are sending a signal to the inside of the cancer cell to divide/grow. They now use Herceptin for HER2 tumours with great results. It attacks only the cancer cells and therefore has little side effects, but I would have Herceptin by IV every 3 weeks for a year. That is a lot of needles.

That is all the news for now.

Love Carolin

It's a good day

Today is Sunday and I am feeling quite good. My friend Karen and I did a 12 km training walk this morning. Other than my balance being off, I feel 90% good. I am not tired anymore, no fatigue, sleeping well and am in a frenzy of motivation and energy to get things done.

Sandy's sister Pam and her daughter drove all day on Saturday from Salt Lake city to visit me. A very kind a generous thing to do.

Jessica and I are leaving on Thursday to visit my sister and her family in San Francisco for 4 days. A nice diversion from what is going on here.

That is all about all it for now.

I'll write again soon.

Love Carolin

Radiation number 2

This morning I had radiation #2. It goes quickly. The time the machine is actually on is only about 2 minutes.

The bad news is that I am going to lose my hair for the third time. At the end of the two weeks of radiation my hair will start to fall out in clumps and I will be bald in 2 days. Back to bandanas and hats for another few months. That is a bit depressing. I have a wedding to attend July 30th and I was looking forward to having my first hair appointment for a stylish trim and hightlights but instead I will be dusting off my wig again. But I know my hair will grow back. That is a small price to pay in returning for zapping this tumor.

The last 2 days have been very very hard. The doctor suggests only looking 2 weeks in the future but it is hard not to want to get my affairs in order. As my brain can only be exposed to so much radiation I have only maybe 1 or 2 shots at removing the tumor or shinking it enough to make a diffrenece. If some tumor remains I may not be able to treat it again.

Jessica knows that I am having my head x-rayed and that my ahir will fall out again. She says that that is too bad because my new hair is so soft. I have put away my expensive shampoo and will pull it out again in about a month when I have something to shampoo.

That's all for now because my fingers are not typing what I want them too and I am having to spend a lot of time correcting mistakes. I will try to write earlier tomorrow.

Love Carolin

Kelowna - now not my favorite place

Last year in July while vacationing in Kelowna I found the initial breast lump. We came home to find out that I had breast cancer.

Last week we went to Kelowna for a fews days of relaxtion and came home to find out I have brain cancer.

It was strange going back to Kelowna this year but I certainly didn't expect that answers that we heard yesterday.

No more Kelowna in my future.

Cancer is back..

I have a 2 cm breast cancer tumor in my brain. Had my first whole head radiation this afternoon.


Carolin's doctor appointment was a surprise. Her coordination has been affected by the tumor at the base of her brain. The headaches are from the circulation problems brought on by the same tumor. Treatment is radiation - ten sessions back to back. After that it is an MRI to see if the tumor is affected. Another possible route is Radiation Surgery that is more targetted and intensive. There was no good news in the visit today. We'll learn more over the coming week(s).

11 hrs to the appointment

I'll find out what the CT scan says soon. The symptoms have gotten worse - trouble walking especially in the morning, tired all the time, thinking like i've been drinking. Many of you have sent supportive emails, and I appreciate it. Sandy says nothing is ever black and white, and tomorrow will just bring more tests. I hope not. I want to know what's going on.

**new** appointment changed to 2PM **

Love
Carolin

CT appointment

My fancy x-ray with a dye injection is at 9AM Friday. I won't get the results until the 23rd so we're off to the Okanagan as planned. Will update this when we get home.

Well she said it wasn't just water in my ears

I saw my oncologist today. I told her my symptoms - dizzy, headaches that last for days, fatigue but most importantly my lack of balance. She did 3 tests of my balance. The last test - walking with one foot directly in front of the other (heel to toe) I could not do without falling over. She said it is not due to the Arimidex, or Chinese medicine, and has given me some corticosteroid pills for 4 days (anti-inflamatory).

So we know what it ISN'T from. What IS it from? I will have to have a CAT scan of my head in the next two days. We are suppose to go to Kelowna on Friday but I will not get the test results for a week after that. That doesn't seem like a good recipe for a restful vacation. I don't know how to keep my mind off whats in my mind. Just my luck not to be an alcoholic.

I'll keep you posted as things progess.

Love Carolin

Recovery slow

Well I am finally updating this blog.

The surgery went fine. My abdomen recovery was quick. I have 3 incisions that are each about 1 inch long. A few dissolvable stitches and that is it. A few days later some bruising showed up. Where I had the most trouble was from the CO2. They inflated my abdomen with CO2 so that they would have room to work with their instruments. After the surgery they press on your abdomen to get most of the CO2 out. However the remaining CO2 floats up under your diaphram and into your neck and shoulders. It was very painful (Tylenol 3). I felt like i had been kicked by a horse in the middle of my rib cage. The pain subsides some when you lay down or add heat. It put me into tears more than a few times. After day 3 I was off the painkillers and feeling better.

I am having some other problems and I don't know what causes them. I feel like I am still on heavy painkillers - light headed, tired, dizzy, no motivation, fatigue, etc. I figure they are caused by either my body getting use to the new medicaiton (Arimidex), my body getting use to no estrogen, or the remaining effects of the CO2. It is a bit of a downer. I am finished treatment but don't feel like my old self yet. The doctor says I can't lift weights, vacuum or mow the lawn for 7 - 10 days after surgery. I hope to be back at the gym on Monday.

I have a doctor appointment a next Thursday and hope that I am feeling better or the doctor can help pinpoint the problem. I hope it is not the medicine. I hate to have had the surgery in order to take the medicine and now find out that I can't continue on it. But I can't feel like this for 5 years!!

That is about it. We have had rain and gloom for about a week and I am looking forward to the sun returning.

Bye for now. Carolin

Technically there are 24 hrs in a day

My "Day" surgery went fine...for the doctor. He stood there, inflated my abdomen like a balloon to give him some room, did his laproscopy thing and went on about his day. They wheeled me back to the recovery room, woke me up, asked some questions, told me to go back to sleep, and then repeated that cycle for the rest of the afternoon. Sandy was told that he could expect a call to come get me 4 hours after surgery, which worked out to 2PM. Didn't happen. 3pm...4pm....5pm.... somewhere in there he just showed up but I wasn't going anywhere. I was still groggy.....6pm....7pm.... They didn't want to let me go home until I had all my bodily functions working as they should. Finally after 8pm they said I could go and I got to see all the rain we had that day, first hand.

So the operation was a success. I have sore shoulders but I'll explain that later. Time for more sleep.