Feeling better

Well I am finally feeling better. Too bad that is going to end in 2 1/2 days. That is when the next and final chemo is. It is nice to finally see the end of that nonesense. I don't recommend it for anyone.

I had a pretty good weekend. I took the dog for a 3.5 km walk on Sunday. It felt good and it was a non-pressure workout. Not like running. That was also the first of the scheduled training walks getting me ready for 60 km. The training schedule starts us out 24 weeks prior to the big day. Rylie will be happy as she is one of my walking partners.

I did Body Pump this morning and 25 minutes of cardio prior to that. Feeling strong.

The side effects have finally diminished. My nails aren't hurting as much (at least I am not taking Advil every morning)and I have stopped itching. My eyes are still watering but my hair isn't falling out.

Tomorrow is a busy day. I have physio, blood tests and doctors appointment. I need to spend some time figuring out what I want from the doctors appointment. I have a few questions and am curious as to when I start radiation.

Well time for bed. I had a much longer blog written earlier but my computer crashed and I had to start all over again. When I realized I had to retype everything, it got edited in a hurry. You are getting the shortened version this time around. Maybe tomorrow I will remember what else I had written.

Love Carolin

A documentary about the Weekend to End Breast Cancer Walk

I copied the following information from the Weekend to End Breast Cancer website. It will give you and me an idea of what this walk is all about.

DON’T STAND STILL (And don't miss this documentary!) 

On Tuesday March 8th, from 10pm to 12am, W Network will air the documentary “Don’t Stand Still,” a film which tells the story of seven women who participated in last year’s Weekend to End Breast Cancer walk in Toronto. Each of these women have experienced breast cancer first-hand or in their immediate family. Joanne (39), MJ (40), Sandra (59), and Allison (34) have all personally fought breast cancer; Anita, Susan, and Kiran lost their mother Rani to the disease two years ago. The women share their stories of the cancer journey; they are shown in treatment and with their families and friends. The cameras follow them as they struggle to conquer the 60 kilometres, which comes to symbolize their victory over the disease.  

The film is moving, inspirational, and celebratory. For anyone who participated in last year’s walk in Vancouver or Toronto, it recaptures the exhilaration and camaraderie experienced through the weekend. For those of you planning to participate in the walk for the first time in 2005, it will give you a glimpse into the spirit you will find along the way. And it reminds all of us why we are doing this and why we must continue to do it until we find a cure.

“Don’t Stand Still” is a film by Gemini Award winning producer Lynn Harvey (The Juno Awards, The Gemini Awards, Jonovision).



  

Carolin's tougher than Melissa Etheridge

Melissa's battle with breast cancer got some TV coverage lately. She's doing great but I'd point out that she quit the same chemo regimen that Carolin's on because of side effects. Melissa can sing better but Carolin is still my hero. Sings waaaayy better.

In addition to Carolin's energy level sucking slough water, her fingers hurt a lot. Now when she pokes me in the eye, she yells as loud as I do. Some people lose their finger and/or toe nails when they are on Taxotere. That'd mean we have 4 gallons of surplus fingernail polish in addition to all that shampoo. Big revenue opportunity! Still the end of all this poison-injection routine is in sight so that keeps us all going.

Home but not rested

My weekend to Pincher Creek was very nice. I am happy with the scrapbooking that I accomplished. I am however very tired. Even though I went to bed each night at a decent hour but I didn't necessarily get a good sleep.

I am still tired today and it is Thursday. I made it to my weight class on Wednesday and did some running and walking on the treadmill before class. Today I tried to go for a run this morning but it was very disappointing. For every 2 blocks I ran I had to walk a block to recover. I seem to have no stamina or lung capacity. I think I may have to give up running for a few weeks until my body starts to heal from the damage that the chemo is doing. At least if my initial intention is to walk it won't be so disappointing when that is all I accomplish.

I have to say that today was the first day that I noticed that I look sick. My eyes are not big and bright but are glassy, tired and only half open. I look like a sick person. I don't like that.

This is supposed to be my 'good" week. By now (one week before chemo) I have rebounded and feel like a normal person. That is not happening this time. I am a bit worried about chemo next Wednesday. I don't know how much further I can get down. I can't imagine feeling like this and loading on all the other side effects as well.

Sandy leaves to Amsterdam on Saturday for a week. I have accepted help from everyone to help me get through the week. Rylie is going to my wonderful neighbours, Sandy's mom will help me with Jessica and I will program the phone with the pizza delivery number.

Love Carolin

Not bouncing back..

I'm definitely having a harder time bouncing back from this last round of chemo. The cumulative effect must be kicking in. I did make it to the gym yesterday and did Body Pump (weights) but I don't have the energy to do any cardio. This combination of chemo and steriods is not making my bathroom scale very happy. The doctor gets very concerned if you start gaining weight because of toxicity. I am definitely retaining a lot of water. People try to resassure me that it is just water but it doesn't make me feel any better. I worked so hard to get into shape and now I will have to do it all over again. I am on the 5 week count down (2 weeks until the next chemo and 3 weeks recovery) to when I can get my life and body back to normal.

I am going away this long weekend to Pincher Creek for a scrapbooking retreat. I need to get my scrapbooks up to date. It is important for me to have these done for Jessica. I try to stay positive but there are days when I think about not being here and how hard that will be for Jessica.

Not much else knew. I'll write again soon.

Love Carolin

Getting to be routine

Well round #3 seems to be following round #1 and #2. Chinese medicine or not I still got the white tongue. It is painful, swollen and I have no taste buds. Yuck!! I also have all the other side effects of last time too - sore muscles, tired, sore fingernails, sore eye lids etc. Yesterday I spent most of the day on the couch watching TV. I hope to get outside this afternoon for a walk to get some fresh air. Monday I will try to get to the gym and get back to my normal routine. Not much else to report right now. Will keep you posted on my progress the next few days. Bye.

Chemo #3 - Only 1 more to go!!

Hi everyone. Well today was chemo #3. As usual it took 2 I.V.'s. The first one hurt a LOT! She said she was "near" the vein and then continued to push, jab and stab me until she decided that it wasn't going to work. The second one went in quite nicely, as needle jabs go. This chemo doesn't have the anxiety associated with it like the first round of chemo did. That is probably because there is no nausea side effects. A friend of a friend has offered to bring me something from a Chinese herbalist that will hopefully ward off the big, bad white tongue side effect. Maybe this will work. It's all the more remarkable because the lady who offered has never met me.

We got home from chemo at 4:15 and I had a 1 hour nap. I am still a bit tired but I think that is mostly because I was silly enough to stay up until 11 last night watching the final episode of the Amazing Race (sorry Karen). So I will be in bed early tonight.

I had a pretty good week at the gym. I managed body pump (weights with music) on Monday and Wednesday and ran on Tuesday. Tomorow I think I will just take the dog for a long walk and save Saturday and Sunday for running again. I am still seeing my physiotherapist twice a week. She is working on lengthening the muscle in my arm. It's going OK and each session doesn't hurt as much as the first.

Dr. West from LA called me yesterday. He looked at my pathology slides and said that small tumors had invaded really really small veins near it but that he didn't THINK they were the vascular veins but rather lymphatic veins. That is a good thing with a better prognosis.

I saw my doctor yesterday. She is putting off genetic testing. She feels that I have enough stuff on my plate right now and the results from the test will not effect my treatment in any way. I will start radiation 3 weeks after my last chemo. Then they will do surgery. I have an appointment with OB/GYN March 24. Then they will start Arimidex everyday for 5 YEARS. Someone asked me if they will put me on Tamoxifen during the time between the end of chemo and surgery. She said no because that window of time is small. As well they would have to take me off Tamoxifen 1 week before surgery anyways. So that is the game plan for the next few months. Looks like surgery will be about the 3rd or 4th week of April.

My hair is falling out lots. At the back of my head you can now see through to the skin. I guess a bandana will be part of my wardrobe for at least a bit longer.

Well time for me to go to bed.

With my love to all those amazing people that are still reading this blog after such a long time.

Carolin

Waiting in the LA airport

Our flight has been delayed but we have access to the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge which makes things more comfortable than the stardard airport waiting area.

Our trip to LA was successful. Both the surgeon and oncologist agreed with the treatment we have received at the Tom Baker so far and with the treatment options we have been given for the future. That makes me feel positive. As well they seemed a little more optimistic about my chance of reoccurence. I'll take 50% over 65%.

The surgeon did a physical exam and said that my surgeon did a nice job and checked the rest of me looking for any lumps. None found. He also said that since I am one of his now established patients that we could Email him any questions that we may have in the future. That is a good thing.

We also learned that if we do the genetic test BRCA1 and BRCA2 and they come back positive that I would for sure have no option except to have my ovaries out. When I see my doctor on Tuesday I will ask for the referral to a genetic counsellor to get that ball rolling. As with most doctors I expect that to be a 6 week wait.

While we were waiting in the conference room for the doctor I was reading my pathology report. Although I have been TOLD that I am HER2 positive, I cannot find that anywhere on my patholgy report. I will check that with the doctor as well. So we are headed home with the assurance that we have been on the right medical path and that the path for the future is the right one as well. So chemo #3 on Wednesday.

Be home later tonight.

Love Carolin

California's second opinion

We came to California to get a second opinion on the course Carolin's treatment. We wanted to be on the front edge of "agressive" because if it reoccurs in the future she would fall into the category of "incurable". We have learned that people can still live quite awhile after it reoccurs but the average is 2 years. Are we doing all we can?

The first doctor was very helpful. This was his field and he knew what he was talking about. He gave the thumbs up for treatment to date, and recommended the Arimadex route after radiation. The second doctor was a founder of this very large clinic. His specialty is surgery. He offered to take our pathology slides to "conference" and get opinions on how invasive the tumour had been. In preparation for our meeting he had consulted with a second oncologist and they suggested the more traditional Tamoxifin instead of the Arimidex. When asked about the difference in his own clinic he said it showed how close the two treatments were in effectiveness.

He spoke at some length about the unmeasured factors. Good diet, physical activity, attitude, and no/low drinking were mentioned as things that we could do to be on the good side of any percentages that we were given. These factors are too complicated to study scientifically but in his experience he was convinced of the usefulness.

So we're coming home today feeling that we have the reassurances that we were after. It was a very worthwhile trip, even if our daughter picked yesterday to lose her first tooth while her mom was out of town.

After the Oncologist

We are here in LA seeing two doctors, an oncologist and a surgeon. We're just back from the first one and liked what we heard. Tomorrow we see the surgeon.

- We would have received the same treatment up to this point if we had been using the LA doctor since day 1. So no problems with the treatment to date.
- He would recommend the more agressive Arimadex/remove ovaries treatment after the current chemo and radiation. Tamoxifin he made a second pick.
- He wouldn't go with the Herceptin at the same time as Arimadex as there's no studies to support that it makes any difference. (Carolin's tumor was HER2 positive so herceptin had been suggested as a controversial route).
- As for flax seed or any other dietary "cures" he said to try them if we wanted. It wouldn't hurt anything but there wasn't any proof for any of them.
- 50/50 chance of reoccurence, he says. He agrees that reoccuring breast cancer is incurable, but lots of advances are being made so don't give up if it shows up again.
- Small chance of reoccurence in the first year. Most chance of reoccurence in years 2 and 3. After year three the chances of it not reoccuring if you've made it that far, go way up.

We'll write more about the whole thing after we see Dr. West tomorrow.