Tests are Negative

Carolin's usual doctor has called twice out of the blue, just to see how Carolin was doing. This last time she heard that we didn't know the results from the tests. She said she'd get on it. Today she told us that the chest x-ray, the bone scan, and the liver ultrasound were all clear. The cancer hasn't spread. We now know what we're up against.

The chemo effects haven't been as bad as we had feared and Carolin has kept her schedule close to what it was before.

Nearing the end of August

Carolin's a little tired and shakey today. We'll have to wait and see if she's going to the fireworks display we had planned for tonight. The problem with waiting for the next health blip, is that every small thing is a big thing.

Like we said to her dad who checks on us regularly from the Coast, things seem to be going good. Carolin goes to work on Monday and Jess is headed for school on Weds. It's nice to be working at normal things.

Two sweeties 

The colour on the picture is a little off. In the original she really doesn't look like she's just finished a long run. She says this is a good picture because she has good hair. Wonder why she said that?

Life changes in a blink of an eye

April 2004 I decided to make some changes in my life. I hired a personal trainer and nutrionist at my gym to help me get back into shape. I worked hard, stayed focused, lived on chicken and veggies and in 3 months time I had met my goal - I lost 25 pounds, 12% body fat and my 40 minute run was faster by 3 minutes. Things in my life were pretty good. In September Jessica would be starting Grade 1 and I thought that I might go back to work part-time.

Then I found a lump in my breast and things came to a screeching halt. How could I be so sick on the inside and yet be in the best physical shape ever. "I feel great" is the response that I give to the numerous doctors that I have seen. It doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for someone to call and say that they had the wrong file. But I still know that the lump is there.

So I figure now that I have been dealt the card that I have, I must make the best of it and work hard at beating this awful thing called "cancer."

I feel positive about the tests that have been done so far. Especially since they are not requiring any further tests. Having Chemo for the first time was a bit odd. I know it is there to help me - kill the cancer cells and all- but on the other hand I know how sick it can make me from the side effects. A double edged sword I suppose.

Many people ask me why I don't want people to know that I have cancer. The best answer that I can give is that I don't want the cancer to change how people view me. I don't want people looking at me and looking for changes. I don't want every conversaton to be based on my health. I guess I just want things to be normal. And right now they are not.

Thank you for the wonderful Emails and phone calls that I have received. They mean a lot to me.

Signing off for now. Love Carolin

Day 2 - the Bone Scan

The last of Carolin's three has-the-cancer-spread tests is a bone scan. She went to the cancer clinic and got some radioactive dye injected in her arm. She had to go back to the clinic 2 hours later for the 30 minute scan. If there was anything of interest on the scan, further scans would be done. At the end of the day the results weren't known however no additional scans were needed so we're taking that as another good sign!

The dye they use must be pretty zippy. Carolin can not have any close contact with Jessica for a day. No hugging or sitting on her lap.

Hey, our cat is getting on my nerves lately. Maybe she can get some extra Carolin time today...

Last night went OK. Carolin went to bed quite early and got up feeling pretty normal. We're still waiting for the bad things to show up.

Day 1 of Recovery

Today we went for the first round of Chemo. Grammy has Jessica. The neighbour has the dog. We just have to worry about getting a bunch of chemicals into Carolin and getting home. The tension would be worse except for 2 hrs of "cancer school" on Monday where they told you more things to expect. Of course it was heavy on the side-effects portion. The cocktail of drugs each patient takes is done just for them. Carolin's is so potent that everything that comes out of her for two days afterwards is to be treated as toxic, and she's to drink a lot of water to flush it out asap. She's booked back at the cancer clinic in 20 days to have a blood test, see the doctor, and then get dose #2 the next day.

A big concern is nausea. They (apparently) have a lot of good drugs to help with that. She takes them twice a day for 3 days after each treatment. We'll see.

The "day care" ward is OK. There's about 20 chairs there for patients. Many things are done to make the patients comfortable and the nurses are nice. I got to go in for moral support but after all was said and done, there's not a lot I could do to make things go better. Total time getting IV's was 2 hrs.

First IV was anti-nausea stuff. Apparently it was cold and felt odd running around Carolin's arm in the veins. The second injection was the workhorse drug. It was manually pushed in using 3 large hyperdermics taking 10-15 minutes. The third was another bag of some chemical with a fourth being just saline to wash it all down. We got out into the daylight about lunch time and so far so good. She seems fine. I expect some reaction eventually. The afternoon soap always makes me sick......

Nice liver on that girl

Carolin has three extra tests scheduled to look for cancer elsewhere in her body. We don't know the results of the chest xray but the liver ultrasound was done on Monday (23rd) and it was pronounced clean. Yahoo!!

Two more "clears" and we'll have a good fence thrown around the problem.

Chemo

Dr. Sandy Patterson was the oncologist. He "recommended" 4 rounds of "AC" drugs to shrink things down. This would likely be followed by surgery (too close to Christmas!), and then perhaps Taxotere for some sessions afterwards. He answered lots of questions. The lump hadn't been there in December (annual checkup) and so while the biopsy showed it as a regular tumor, Dr. Patterson was worried it might be more agressive than that. The amount of cutting needed during the surgery would be decided at that time but he wasn't sure that a lumpectomy was going to be enough. (guess we'll see). We had some blood work done and the previously scheduled chest xray and went home to absorb it all. It felt good to have a plan but one thing grabbed Carolin's attention.

Her hair was toast.

Shortly after the chemo treatments started, it would fall out and not return until after the treatments ended. She didn't view this as a great opportunity to save on shampoo. This would show the world she had a terrible disease. She didn't like the idea. Lots of talk and consultations showed most women choose wigs so they can be in control of how they look rather than the disease. I think she'll look good whatever is on her head. She was more particular. We'll see how it turns out.

The lump

On August 11 Carolin heard that a biopsy of a lump in her chest was cancerous. A lymph node was also showing positive. "Shocked" was an understatement. Carolin was as healthy as she had ever been in her life. She loved her new training and eating program, and was happy with the results. There was no family history of breast cancer and Carolin was waaaay too young.

We were just back from a nice vacation at Kelowna and Jess was getting ready for Grade 1 in September. Apart from Canada doing crummy at the Olympics, everything was going well, but then this.

Denial, anger and tears were evident on everyone who knew. An appointment to talk to a surgeon was made and then re-made to move it earlier. Unknowns abounded as our information was limited to "test positive at 4 sites in the breast and 1 in the lymph nodes". The surgeon would tell us more. The date was 6 days later on the following Tuesday. It was not a happy time.

Carolin went to see her sister in San Fran on the 13th and broke the news. Slowly others were told or found out but there wasn't much solid information to pass on. Many said wonderful, supportive things and we may not have said enough about how appreciated those thoughts were. Our thoughts were on the doctor meeting coming up.

Dr. Rothwell is a surgeon and answered several of our questions. He estimated the main lump at 3 cm with several lymph nodes involved. He recommended chemo to shrink the tumor and give him "better margins". He guessed the Chemo would take about 3 months, then the operation, then more chemo. He also scheduled Carolin for 3 more tests to look for cancer elsewhere: a chest xray, a liver ultrasound and a bone scan. He passed us off to the oncologist who would be in charge of Carolin's treatment until surgery was needed.