I can give up my hospital parking pass

The doctor says that the last body scan showed significant reductions in the liver tumours, recovery from the lung damage that the chemo had caused, and no new surprises. The neck bones are regenerating (but won't make it back to 100%) and the fancy brain radiation/surgery MUST have worked. They'll check to see how that tumour is shrinking (see? positive thinking!) on April 5.

The summary? No chemo until another tumour shows up (hopefully never)! I only have the every-3-week herceptin intravenous, and a couple of daily pills to eliminate estrogen. Pretty easy, I'd say!!

So it's all good news. You might as well say the cancer's gone and all the rest of this stuff is to make it hard for the stuff to come back. Now what to do with the free time.....

Back in the driver's seat

I went to see my neck doctor on Friday. He didn't do x-rays this time. I get to start weaning myself from my neck brace. I can drive and go to the gym but still no running or skiing. One thing at a time he says. So I take my brace off for a bit of time a few times a day. It is feeling good. Mobility is coming back quite quickly. And did I mention that I can drive!!

Monday and today I went to the gym. 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill and some weights. Doc says no lifting weight over my head (eg. shoulder press). But it is great to be back. I have lots of energy and it is so nice to see my friends.

Tomorrow it is back to the oncologist. Now I will find out if we are doing chemo again or not.

I am on the mend. Hurray!!

Feeling Better

I am feeling better this morning. I think what I had on Monday was the 24 hr flu. I was sick all night. Yesterday was a little better. A friend from my support group brought over supper and sugested that we go for a walk. It felt great to get outside (even in the very strong chinook winds).

This morning I am feeling pretty normal. Again I went walking this morning with another of my friends. I think it is better to kick start my day with a refreshing walk rather than spend the day in my PJ's (which I have done for the last few days).

So I am out of the gutter and back on the sidewalk.

Thanks for all your care and concern.

Love Carolin

Hitting bottom

Well tonight I hit bottom emotionally, cried and told Sandy how tired I am of being sick. This was after a day of throwing up everytime I ate. Maybe it is the flu and maybe it is a sign of swelling in the brain. Neither of them do I want right now.
If they put me back on steroids for brain inflamation it would be for 5 days and then it takes 2 months to get me weaned off of them. That means 2 months of being fat again.
Yuck!

But after I brushed my teeth and wiped my tears it is back to being a fighter again and not giving into this hole I seem to be in right now. I know that I can drive and go to the gym again soon. And I know that there will be an end to treatments too - hopefully because I am healthy and not for the other reason.

I am not on any meds for head pain after Thursday's treatment.
I am very, very tired. I sleep almost 12 hours at night and then sleep another 3 hours during the day. The ladies from my support group did an amazing job filling my fridge and freezer with meals for the weekend and probably this whole week. Thank you so much!!

So I am off to bed soon. Jessica seems to tuck me in more often lately than I do her. She is such a resilant kid!!! She gives me lots of hugs and always tries to do things to help me. Sandy well what can I say... I married the best guy around. He comes home from work and then takes care of Jessica, cooks, handles the homework and walks Rylie. Not an easy job but he never complains.

Well time for me to sign off...

Love Carolin

PS Thanks again to everyone for the Emails, phone calls, prayers, love and support. Everyone always comments on my strength through this disease but I couldn't be strong without each and everyone of you behind me every step of the way. Like the 60 km walk it is just one step at a time!! Good night.

Pictures from a looong day

7 am and we were ready to go. First off they froze the four places on my head where they were going to bolt in the metal frame. The freezing came in 4 hypos that HURT! The tears were streaming down my face and we hadn't even started bolting things on.



These are the plastic bolts that go through the frame and into my head. Note the white ends. You won't see them on the outside of my head in any of the other pictures.




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Plastic helmut that they use to make sure everything is exactly lined up.


Me in the machine. I'm the one laying down.






The doctor is un-bolting me. This felt really weird as the pressure came off. Yes those are wrenches he's using.




Trying to give people an idea of the holes that are left. MAJOR headache!! Now I rest, treat the minor headache and watch for symptoms of too much brain swelling. If they show up it's steroids again. Booooo. I'm off to bed. Night night.



These photos may not stay up here too long because of the space they use.

Preparation for the Brain "Surgery"

I'm now up to speed with what to expect tomorrow. The most painful part happens right off the bat when they literally bolt a 3 pound metal frame to my skull. They use a wrench and 30 pounds of pressure! Then they do a CT scan to show the frame's position versus the tumor. Then 2 neurosurgeons and a physicist (as in a Phd in physics) spend 3-4 hours planning the machine's 6 minute operation. I'm the only one being treated for the entire day. This week a total of 3 will be treated. It's all very specialized. When it's done they unbolt me and I go home. The list of things to watch for is long but familiar. Brain swelling and I are old friends.

But I get to keep my hair, so it's not all bad. More after its all done.

Neck update

I still have my neck brace. I am only allowed to take it off for a few minutes and few times a day to do my exercises. I have a few exercises to do to build up the muscles in my neck. But I do get to sleep without it at night. Hurray!! I got NO to skiing, and NO to running and NO to driving. The driving part is a real downer. Actaully so is the skiing and running part. But I suppose they want to be cautious. So I go back to the neck doctor in 2 weeks and then maybe some limitations will be lifted. Busy week this week coming up.

Love Carolin

Things are happening fast

Yesterday I heard from the nurse in the tactical radiation department. This radiation procedure they use is focused and precise. It only radiates the tumor. There is a strict criteria to be a candidate for surgery dependant on the lesion size and number. Fortunatley I qualify. There will be no effect on my hair (of course I asked). They have a web site if you want to look:

www.albertaradiosurgery.ca

So the plan is as follows:

Friday 6th - I see my neck doctor (hopefully get rid of the neck brace) and get physio directions.
Tuesday 10th - I have an MRI of my head
Wednesday 11th - I have a consult with the Dr. doing the brain surgery
Thursday 12 -I get a CT scan and radiation surgery on my brain.
Friday 13th - avoid anything medical at least for today.
My last two chemo sessions have been cancelled. That's a change in plans but I need my white blood cell count up for this.

It is day surgery and I get to go home that night but I will need a week to recover. The nurse says to expect headaches, tiredness and some pain fron where the metal frame is attached to my head using pins. (Your life is too exciting if bolting a frame to your head only gets an off-hand mention.)

Will keep you posted as things start to happend.

Love

Carolin

It's always good to know what's going on

Even when the news is not what you want.

Today I went for a head to hip CAT scan. It would show how we were doing with the cancer. The radiologist hasn't had a chance to go over the results but my medical oncologist had an advance peak. The brain tumor is back. It's about the same size as it was when we started (2 cm x 2 cm). They hope to get me in for an MRI the end of this week or the beginning of next week. They also want me to start back on the steroids - I just finished losing 25 pounds, back in my skinny jeans and now back to the weight gain. That is a worse bummer than losing my hair - well maybe an equal bummer.

Turns out I'm a good candidate for the new surgery where targeted radiation is used instead of the whole-head approach we used last time. This is a one-time blast from lots of angles and requires a very specialized team. This oncologist guesses that they'll get into the act after the current chemo is done (about 2 more weeks). You'll recall that the chemo doesn't make it to the brain, so the reappearance of the brain tumour doesn't mean this chemo isn't working. It just means that I have more drama coming up in my life. Guess I can put the post-cancer hobby hunt on hold for awhile longer.

On a positive note my medical oncologist feels that my cancer in my liver is stable and in control. A few more chemo's to go.

Friday I see my neck doctor. Hopefuly I will get my neck brace off and get to start driving again soon. Jessica starts her activities next week and I would give anything to get back to the gym. Although it probably isn't wise to lift weights for a while I would still like to walk on the treadmill and see my friends.

Thank you for all the well wishes over the Christmas season - emails, cards and phone calls. With each new medical hurdle it is nice to have friends who are so concerned about me.

With love.

Carolin